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Now this is common knowledge for a girl going on vacation within the U.S. The next part of what I’m about to tell you should be written down in period blood because it’s that fucking permanent. If your girl is going on vacation to Europe and you haven’t banged her yet… ERASE HER FUCKING NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE! Fuck what you’ve heard… it’s what you’re hearing, girls go to Europe to get banged out, with all that art, food, culture and Vespas. It’s the female version of Vegas. And that version isn’t complete unless she gets banged out by some smelly Euro dude.
It gets even worse, her getting banged out by “one” Euro dude would be a good thing given how slutty most American chicks are naturally. The most likely scenario to go down would be an all out gang bang with some soccer team. Not even a good team either, probably some team’s development squad. You know how in 300 those dudes had been training for war since they could walk. Well in Europe ever since they could stand, those dudes have been training to run trains on American chicks that visit for vacation.
Now I don’t know why you’d want to keep talking to a girl that just got finished getting air tight by a bunch of bisexual dudes named Sergeio, who wear ripped faded jeans and a white tank top not wife beater but a fucking tank top, is beyond me. If you do yourself the favor and erase her number and all contact with her you’ll sleep a lot better at night. If a girl is interested and her attraction is still there she’ll call you or text you to see how you’ve been.
If you run into her on the street, she’ll probably be wearing some knock off Hermes scarf bag combo, and she’ll be dying to tell you about her trip. Not because she thinks you care but because she wants to remind herself of all the bangs she got. Act like you care and seem interested and then when she gets to the part we landed in…. tell her sorry you’ve got to get somewhere important but maybe next time. Do this every time you guys run into each other. But to avoid this… bang her before she leaves
“Well in Europe ever since they could stand, those dudes have been training to run trains on American chicks that visit for vacation.”
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking when I hit that line. Hilarious, top post…
I agree that if you have been seeing a girl for a week or two, this post definitely applies. You are still laying the groundwork. But it should be noted that the tables turn after those two weeks…
I think girls should feel a little anxiety about not banging me before they leave for vacation. For instance, they are leaving next week, but they know it isn’t their turn in the rotation to see me for another 2 weeks…they should be in a panic trying to convince me to see them before they take off.
And when they get home and call you to tell you about their trip, pretend you didn’t even know they left.
“You went to Puerto Rico? Wow that’s pretty cool, how long were you there for?”
Ahh this takes me back…haha just kidding.
Your actual results may vary Tyler.
They do vary…and that’s fine. Nothing in human nature is 100%…just things that commonly happen. The craziest girl I have ever met in my entire life was named Lisa. Not that you’re crazy….but the name will always have that link in my head.
I believe Eddie Murphy called this “Vacation Dick” back in the day.
Bitches in Vancouver go to Jamaican and Dominican to get themselves some blacksnake.
Basically, if a girl goes on a trip with her girls while she’s with me, it’s over. She is guaranteed to be banging some other dude.
hahahahaha. VK. This post is full of 100% WIN.
Same here, tyler. The Lisa that i know was eventually institutionalized.
Haha! A Classic!
Taff,
thanks man,
Tyler,
as usual always bring a fresh view point to the game. You know I’m going to yoink the pretending I didn’t even know they left… Like Victor did when he got back from Europe in Rules of Attraction.
Lisa,
I don’t even think your kidding… don’t you have a history with Euro dudes?
El Chief,
Nah, I remember that Eddie Murphy show… I have it on tape at the parents crib. But yeah, if your girl needs to leave the country for any reason…. watch yo back
Entropy and T,
Thanks, the old man still gots it and can pull one out every now and then
Y’all the funny thing is I’ve heard that about my name before.
VK,
Here’s a validating story for this post. Gal who graduated from HS with my sister, leaves for Europe shortly thereafter. Meets swarthy euro dude and decides to lost her virginity to him. Allows him to raw dog. Comes home. Goes to doctor and finds out she’s HIV positive.
And if you’re already banging a girl and she’s going on some exotic vacation, make sure to bang her triple hard the night before she leaves. Vaginal soreness is a sure way for her to remember you.
i like this. there is much to be said about the transitive properties of vacationing.
my theory is that everyone’s self-perceived status ratchets up a couple notches after a vacation. you feel on top of the world, invincible, and twice as good-looking as before.
i’d suspect that this rule is stronger the smaller the town the chick is from. if she’s living in Bum Fuck, Kansas, she’ll come back thinking she’s Posh Spice or something. she’ll get real flaky real fast. no point dealing with that shit.
What I get from this posting is a great deal of insecurity on your/your friends’ part when it comes to….ta da! THE SUPERIOR EUROPEAN MAN THAT YOU AMERICAN BOYS CAN’T POSSIBLY COMPETE WITH & DEEP DOWN, YOU KNOW IT!
Poor babies…just put your tail between your legs & have a good PMS cry because your baby ain’t commin back to you after sampling THE SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY EUROPEAN MAN!
Funniest post ever!
Hey carmen… I’m not American dumbass, I’d probably clean up better in Eastern Europe than most of the guys who live there. But thanks for playing
Chuck,
When I go to the west coast though and clean up I def come back feeling on top of the world and ready to run tight game here in DC. Glad I have Vegas at the end of the summer.
Good observation
Pure truth. Tell it brother.
We superior euro men are glad you all understand whose dicks are bigger.