Category: 
The next day I got a lot of ribbing from the guys, who by the way have all gone turtle diving from time to time. Hardy har har , she was more like a “Galapagos Turtle”, blah blah blah. “Dude we tried to save you but you were too far gone”. We gave her the nice nickname of “Butterball”.
A couple of weeks later all was forgotten and everything went back to normal. We were in the gym chilling out doing our meat head thing when all of a sudden one of my boys runs up with this gigantic grin on his face, “you’ll never believe who’s here”. I look up and I see Butterball waddling her way through the gym. I all but vomit in my mouth. My boy the Degenerate whispers, “sweet Jesus is this really happening”. One of the twins start giggling like a little girl. I was horrified. I did what any respectable grown up would do after having a one night stand with a turtle… I avoided all eye contact and pretended like I’ve never seen her in my life. I was pissed! She had broken all social norms set forth from the 1949 Geneva Convention that clearly states procedures on follow up interactions between Mud Turtles and higher status men.
I had followed all the rules I thought, I mean the turtle lived in another area code for Christ sake who knew that her new job was right around my area code. Much like the rules of owning a Mogwai aka Gremlin. I never let it see light of day/ hung out with her when the sun came up. Never let her get wet and I sure as hell never fed her any food after midnight… like she needed it.
How would you feel if you saw a video of yourself blacked out drunk and acting like a complete asshole? Doing things you don’t remember and behaving in a way you didn’t know you acted when you got that drunk. That’s exactly the feeling I got when I saw Butterball in the gym… in spandex like pants.
Right then and there I said out loud that I was done with mud turtles no more for at least a year. The degenerate who was standing next to me said I couldn’t do it… and true to his name he bet me on it. If I can make it till the end of November 2010 without hooking up (including making out) with a mud turtle He’ll pay for all my drinks for a weekend and including drinks I’d buy for girls I’m trying to hook up with. If I fail then I got his for a weekend. This is easily a $200 to $250 bet here.
So yes there is a constant reminder in my gym of what happens when I let myself drink too much. She’s kind of like a genital wart… a constant reminder of what can go wrong when you get carried away in search of a good time. I still haven’t acknowledge her existence though thank god. But this was the start of my “Better VK in 2010 project came from. I’ll speak on that in the next post. I sure will miss the turtles in 2010 but something gotta give.
The Internet needs its Roissy, please pass on the message.
ah. thanks for making my day at work.
I’d like to get in on this action. Unless you plan on not drinking until november, you’ll succumb.
The real bet is how soon will you fail hahahahhaaa
whats up with the degenerate/roissy?
giving up already?
Damn man it’s amazing how much faith Roosh and The Rookie don’t have in me, It’s the new and improved VK watch out now
“who knew that her new job was right around my area code”?
How would you know that? Did you talk to her again
O man, you need to keep your wits about you, and not drink maybe?
For the person who works with iron, needing iron will, iron mind…
http://www.gittlen.com/rollins.htm
O face,
One of my boys that works at the gym actually signed her up. Gave up the 411
I loved your ‘What to Say’ post. Made my heart melt! So sweet!
:)
Educate me, whats a mud turtle as far as women go? Whats a turtle period?
“She’s kind of like a genital wart…”
Wait, what?