Category: 
Now before the hating starts do you know who complains the most about CLT girls weight? They do. Guys like to lie to ourselves often and maybe even trick ourselves into letting the 10 slide especially if the face is extra nice. But sooner or later the girl will slip up and say something like, “God, if I could just lose these last ten pounds…” or something along those lines. As soon as those words are uttered we know we can never “date date” that girl. I mean we can “date” her, bang her and be seen in public even holding hands or making out ( I mean the face is nice) but she’s not meeting the moms… ever. This is why they’re tweeners ten more pounds and technically they’d be official fatties. And we all know the rules to that, you can’t be seen in public with a fatty, ever, no daylight, not before 1:45am especially if your BAC is under a .15.
But back to the main point of discovery. Tweeners usually share some common traits. Again they’ll be the first person to let you know they could stand to lose “a few” pounds, over and over and over again. But it’s as if these women hover in the tween world almost on purpose. If they go too far over the ten, they’ll straighten up, crash diet, try a new “cleanse” and go to a couple of spin classes to get back into fighting tween size. Once there they’ll claim that they’re not obsessed with their weight and luv their body just the way it is and even though it’s not doing them any favors, pledge allegiance to the lifestyle choices that will make it impossible to lose the finale ten. Until she complains about needing to lose ten pounds… again.
CLT are funny, they feel superior to fat girls because they’re not fat but then put down fit/ tight body mommies for being “too obsessed” with their weight. They assume because there are still guys who want to fuck them and that it’s all good. But every now and then they’ll meet a guy, things will go extremely well with a positive connection. Then the guy will disappear without warning giving her the Irish Goodbye. In the back of her head there’ll be that wondering is it because I’m a CLT girl? Of course being in great shape doesn’t equal automatic relationship happiness, but I’d be pissed at myself to find out I got nexted because I couldn’t control my late night cravings for ham and grill cheese bacon sandwiches with a side of rocky road.
But since I’m from DC with a “slightly” high CLT per capital and know I might get got for this post, I’ll let a fellow D.M.V native Wale speak on it
Untitled from Makavelliott1971 on Vimeo.
“Ugly girl’s be quiet quiet pretty girls clap clap like this”
The co-worker I’ve been crushin’ on for over a year is a CLT Girl. I still wanna do extremely naughty things to her, but there’s no denying that she could lose ten.
i’m takin a pass on the whole “thin girls are so obsessed” line i’ve overheard ad nauseum. obsessed with being hot is how it should be termed. great post.
Isn’t the classic solution to this problem just getting them a gym membership, casually comparing her to her mom, and adding small amounts of poison to all the cookies, ice cream and snacks in the house until she develops an eating aversion. That last one is still in the testing phase, allegedly.
We got three factors going on:
1. The modern american woman has little willpower left after dedicating herself to “career.” Her appearance suffers.
2. There is a neverending stream of “good enough” guys that will wife up a tweener, so the motivation to go the final yard and do shit right is lacking.
3. Fat acceptance. There is no shame. I bet you those tweener would get on the bicycle if she lived in a place like Miami or Rio.
I don’t know if “meeting the mom” is more metaphorical than literal, but the real irony about not wanting an overweight girl to meet the mom is that the person in this world least likely to care if a girl needs to lose ten is a guy’s mom. However, the guy’s dad is the person in this world most likely to care.
CLTs can be bad for your mental health. I know with me, i’ll always be fighting the temptation to tell them to stop eating so much, if we’re out eating, or just constantly wondering when this chick is gonna lose that weight.
Lisa, I know my Mom will care how fat the girl is. Why? Cause she accepts the fact that guys are attracted to LOOKS. My Mom looks out for me.
I love that song, but something ironic about two ugly dudes like Wale and Gucci telling ugly girls to be quiet.
Great post by the way.
It’s funny but parents do care (to a degree) about the attractiveness of your SO. They want the best for you, they don’t want to think you settled, and they don’t want ugly grandkids.
So true.
DC is over-flowing w/CLTs. Worse yet, most of them think they’re 10s.
I was on Wale 4 years ago. Way to play catch-up.