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One of the funniest/ scariest hours on TV has got to be VH1’s, The Pickup Artist. Yes, it’s the same channel that’s brought such ground breaking television as Rock of Love. The premise of this show is that some “Chris Angel on Meth” looking mofo, master PUA “Pick up Artist” known as “Mystery”, teaches a bunch of scrubs how to pick up women. I’m talking some of the worst of the worst. A guy who’s 45 and a virgin, a gay guy who doesn’t know he’s gay yet, my favorite is the white guy who nobody told was white, and some other misfits (Surprise no black guys hmmmm). The guys go through transformations that are supposed to help their game, for instance dressing up like gay retarded boy band rejects.
Now for those of you who don’t know, Mystery is the main character in this book that came out about two years ago, “The Game“. Apparently this guy Neil Strauss documented his two year rise inside the “seduction community” or what I’d like to call normal guys who like having sex with women and needed a name for it. Obviously I didn’t read it. That would be like you reading a book on how to breath oxygen.
The show really gets painful at the end when the losers are forced to use what they’ve learned up to that point, go to a club, and wait for it wait for it……… talk to girls. There’s nothing worse to watch than a guy crash and burn. To watch women turn their backs on them mid conversation or see these grown men cry at the thought of rejection. Even though 85% of it is probably made up, it makes you realize how tough it can be for some guys out there, and thank God if you can keep a conversation going with a woman for more than 5 minutes in this city.
The other key point of the show is the technique this Mystery guy uses. Weird acronyms like DHV spike, Gambit, MCG, opening? I’ve never seen someone make talking to women seem so complicated. The funny/ creepy thing is that tonight he had these guys worm up by actually telling a story to a bunch of little girls in preschoolers to keep their attention. Did you get that? Keeping a woman’s attention is as easy as telling a preschooler a story. That made me crack up for a good hour after the show.
Check out this genius advice, that no one has ever heard of
Now as much as I want to hate on the guy, the things he says, the way he dresses, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s to always, “respect the game”. Women (who have it easy when it comes to sex) are doomed to fall for a guy like this because they don’t respect the game. What every woman in America is saying to themselves when they watch this show is that there is no way lines and a douche like that could pick them up, but then on $9 beer night over at The Slap and Tickle, Roissy is putting it in your butt by the end of the night.
Most women are too hard headed to accept the fact that there are series of intricate verbal phrases and physical moves that if done correctly within a short moment of time will increase the chances of them getting spider monkeyed by the end of the night. By simply playing on her inner attention whore the situation can be manipulated. Sure that could never happen to you. But most of the time you’re being gamed up and don’t even know it or you don’t even care and maybe a little bit of both.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go grow out a rat tail and highlight it pink, paint my fingernails, pierce my penis, so I can what’s the term, “peacock”. Dear God so this is what it’s coming to?
I just saw this video on guys who’ve given up on dating in general and turned to life-size, life-like dolls. What’s the world coming to?
i painted my nails black yesterday many years ago and the girl said “did you slam a door on your fingers?”
btw, i met mystery in DC when he was in town to do a workshop. his stuff works great on club girls but guys have to keep in mind that he’s a natural born entertainer. he does magic tricks for the chicks that act as “DHV”s.
I also laughed at the analogy of women being like little kids who need to be entertained . . . because it’s true!
As a guy, I’m tired of being the court jester and being ordered, “Make me laugh, clown!” This gets to the idea of women always wanting a guy to make her laugh. Which also gets to the idea of, if men provide the value of security and laughs and the bacon, what’s the value added for women? Please don’t say it’s just the twat!
Simon Carnal — it’s all about power. Women think they have power over you because they have something that you want. Good to hear that you’re tired of being the court jester. Your job is not to entertain her. Your job is to seduce her. There’s a big difference between the two. The former only gets you a mildly appreciative audience that thanks you for the laughs at the end of the night.
An old friend of mine liked going out because he enjoyed the “mind fuck”. He very rarely went home with women who would clearly have fucked him in a heartbeat. Instead, he simply enjoyed getting women hot and bothered, teasing them with what he had to offer, and then leaving them high and dry at the end of the night. The worst thing about it was that the women weren’t offended by his behavior; it only increased their desire for him. This desire lasted for years, as I personally witnessed at least 2 women who were desperate to fuck him long after he screwed with their heads.
Kristin,
Well, after reading your comment, I guess things could be worse for guys, I mean this might be the new cat lady phenom for males.
Roissy,
I know, dude’s kind of faking it. I mean girls automatically drop their panties for magicians. It’s right up there with being a male model. Go figure
Simon N Carnal
Added value for women, I don’t know but I know I wouldn’t want some thing growing in me for 9 months that would eventually stretch something out that used to be oh so tight. Better them than me.
Jay G,
cock teasing isn’t cool, I hate it when women do it to me, I’d never do it to them, every girl deserves a little slap and tickle if their showing they want it.
I have always had a thing for Doug Henning - must be because chicks dig magic tricks.
Mystery (and his sidekicks) are creepy. I will admit, watching him work it with drunk girls who ask him about his goggles is pretty entertaining. (especially when he makes eye contact with the ‘hidden’ camera)..
VH1 has a trend here… Rock of Love (40+ rocker Bret Michaels searching for love) + The Pick Up Artist (description above) = Scott Baio is 45 and Single (why you have yet to post about this is beyond me.. get to work).
respect yourself, respect women. don’t crave sex cus there are better things in life. and dont be like mystery. if you must, be like vk. but if you’re going to achieve anything, do it on your own terms. dont act a certain way just because you think it will yield results. in short, dont compromise on what you are. but dont “be yourself” either — thats lame. the game owes you, not the other way around.