Category: 
I think sometimes life happens in these perfect moment where you really understand what you want to come from it. It was one Saturday night in the Spring of 2006 and I’m 25. The girl that I’ve been crushing on for months is giving me a ride back from the club where I finally made my move. As we danced to the beat, I grabbed her, pressed her against the wall and kissed her hard with all the build up of anticipation my lips could muster. Call it a self fulfilling prophecy, but there are moments when you’re with someone that you feel you’re in the presence of something greater than yourself. She’s 29 and in the cool night air as we drive towards something more if you look at her really fast she reminds me of the pin up girl in my late teen years, Brooke Burke. So it feels like I’ve been lusting after her for half a lifetime. Brooke and this woman driving.
In my room as her freckles and brunette locks fall onto my bed, there were moments you have to remind yourself to breath. Where you can hear your heart beating in your ears. The fire you wait your whole life to burn in. When we were done she asked if I was thirsty. I said yes and started to get up. She told me not to move, that she’d get it. I watched as she stood up and put her dress back on over her nude body glowing in the moonlight that broke through the blinds . I listened as she walked down the stairs to the kitchen, in a town house that I shared with three other guys, making herself at home. The cabinet opening and closing, ice falling into the glass from the refrigerator, the water runs.
The image of her walking through my bedroom door, in that dress, holding a glass of ice water for me is a portrait in my mind of selflessness. It’s in the simplest of acts that you learn everything you’ll ever need to know about a woman. If she’s kind, if she’s loving, if she’s faithful, if she’ll make a good mother, if she’s the one you take home to your mother
To me the idea of the perfect woman is a woman who’s willing to put other’s needs before her own. It’s the willingness to please the guy she cares about. It’s the natural nurturing vibe she can give off with a smile. It’s a warmth and tenderness that lets you know that no matter how strong you are, behind closed doors you’re allowed to be weak in front of her and she won’t hold it against you. You’re safe. Someone who’s patient enough to understand that you’re far from perfect but that you’ll come through when it counts.
The glass she brought me the water in sat empty on the window sill right next to my bed for a year and a half. It reminded me of something and I couldn’t think of what, so I did not touch it. Maybe in my subconscious it represented something more, an emptiness in my life waiting to be filled. Maybe it represented me, who the fuck knows. I do know that a man should be so lucky as to have a memory so strong that shines as a light of hope in the darkness where there is none and guides him the rest of his days.
Kindness, selflessness, patience, passionate. These are the characteristics that I feel that the perfect woman for me possesses. It’s tough to find a woman like that in a city like this. With each passing year the women get colder, bitter, harder. But I still believe they’re out there, the good ones. I’m just thankful that I’ve met a few of them so I know exactly what to look for. From the girl pictured in my header, reading Bang, that I dated for over three years and still has a place in my heart. To the woman who stood in the doorway, on a warm Spring night, glowing, hair frizzing, wearing a simple thin dress, offering a glass of ice water. Like a hand print left in wet cement an imprint was made in my mind. Almost exactly two years later, I’m still thirsty
Next up at bat is T from The Rawness , I’m pretty sure his will be a home run as usual. Thanks
What a lovely post.
The janitor FTW!!!!1!!!!on3!!!!!!
Only you can combine Jens Lekman and Brooke Burke and have it work. And your post falls into the exact place they come together. Very well done, VK.
After Roissy killed it yesterday, the hater in me was hoping you’d fumble and put less pressure on me. No such luck. Asshole. Awesome post.
Seriously though, you guys consistently blog at a level that constantly inspires me to stay on my A-game and remind me why I fucking love being a man. THIS IS SPARTA!!!!
“Where you can hear your heart beating in your ears. The fire you wait your whole life to burn in.”
This is poetic. I really like this practice.
Now, get back to writing about tigs.
Great job, way to keep the momentum up.
empty glass on the window sill for a year and a half? damn, and i thought i was a romantic bastard.
Nice. i’m screwed
Jo,
Thanks kid, I try sometimes
XQB
With pink star earring it’s all about synergy
But we both know Jens is like hot sauce, it goes well with everything
T.
Thanks for the big ups. Just take it in a different direction or people will be bored of all this softness.
Sparta? I must have took a wrong turn at Albuquerque
Lemmonex,
Fine! The perfect woman has perfect tiggs. You happy now
Mike,
I’m just glad my turn is over. Talk about angst
Roissy,
Maybe it was 90% romantic 5% creepy 5% being a lazy bastard
Roosh,
No pressure, just tell the world the perfect woman is Brazilian. Who could argue that?
Nice, still run into the water holding hooker anymore?
Nice! … I might just have to follow up with my own “perfect man” post…
Wow, I just read Roissy’s… is this dude a professor or something because that had me sitting back in my chair thinking. it’s great seeing all of the different perspectives on this topic, great idea.
You exposed a vulnerability here that I did not expect. I think you one upped roissy, mr. janitor.
“I do know that a man should be so lucky as to have a memory so strong that shines as a light of hope in the darkness where there is none and guides him the rest of his days.”
That was incredible. For some reason this line reminded me of a guy being wrongly imprisoned or a POW or something and the only thing keeping him sane and giving him hope is the thought of his woman.
The perfect woman makes you strive to become a perfect man for her. Beautiful post.
D,
That was the point just to get different guys from different backgrounds talking about their expectations. I’m just waiting for the other three to see where they go with it
Mandy,
Third comment in a row starting with “Nice”. hmmmm I think you can do better. Go for the perfect man post three other females already tried to yoink the male’s ideas. It just doesn’t feel the same
DF,
nah, I don’t see it as a one up, just coming from a different view point, but thanks though. It did take some work
Ben,
Ha, many times dating in DC IS like being in a POW camp for real
Wow VK. Just wow. I’ve always been impressed with your hysterical sense of humour, but it seems your poetic side is equally impressive. I’ve read this post five times already. Brooke Burke should be flattered…
Wow. This post was really amazing. On so many levels, I feel the need to commend you for your excellent taste in women. Incredible writing, too.
Wow! (That’s three comments in a row that start with Wow - thought you’d appreciate that.)
You didn’t write about the woman. You wrote about you.
Jessica,
Wow, thanks for the compliment and taking the time to read this five times. I know how busy you can get. It’s safer just being funny though than laying real feelings on the line. I’ll e mail this to Brooke I think the restraining order doesn’t cover e mail
namaste,
Getting commended on my writing from you is cool. As far as my taste in women, I’ve gotten lucky, that’s why I always keep a 40 ounce and a bucket of KFC at the crib at all times, you never know when a dime might stop by. Gotta keep it classy
Anon,
Well if you knew me you’d know I have absolutely no patience and kind would not be the first thing that comes to mind when you say VK. Alcoholic maybe
As one of the idea-yoinkers, thanks, dude. But I liked this post because you’re putting aside the tough-guy routine.
What’s funny is that you really are writing about yourself more than you’re writing about your “perfect” woman. The perfect woman you describe is sort of a sweet-natured blank. This post gives me a better idea of who you are, instead of who she is.
This was almost exactly the time you and I were getting close and I feel like I was somehow there, so I understand where this post comes from and how you felt and feel. (Not that I am your shrink or anything)
This is also quite a lovely post. I am starting to really like these “perfect woman” posts.
Shannon,
I just don’t get the whole writing about myself since I know that I’m the complete opposite of the things I described and I’m from the school of thought that we seek out parts in others that we don’t have in ourselves. But if you say you know me better then ok
KassyK
Thanks for liking the perfect woman post. It was just an idea and I’m glad my boys got to show case some of their skills and get some looks. It’s also interesting to see how different guys think and feel about this stuff